Seeing is Believing; Believing is Achieving

About a week or two ago, I was browsing the blogosphere, being entertained and informed by various pearls of wisdom when I came across a post called the Think Differently Challenge.

The author talked about the constant rain, something he disliked about where he lived and consciously went through the process of creating new thought about the weather. That he picked the rain reminded me of how relative things are — I know people who love the rain!

The subject reminded me that there truly is no reality to likes and dislikes, good or bad. It is our perception, our thoughts that make them so, and I’ve decided to take part in the challenge.

A value that was near and dear to my heart is autonomy — independence. For years, its’ been a matter of necessity that I be self-reliant and as such, I’ve held pretty negative feelings toward dependency of any type.

I’ve always disliked asking for help (generally because I’ve know it wouldn’t be forth coming or would come with entirely too many strings attached) and I’ve been proud whenever I’ve been able to say, “I did it myself!”

That said, it probably isn’t difficult to see that I’ve had little use for those who couldn’t just “get the job done”. Those who, for whatever reason, could not, on their own power, make what they want happen. The need help or have excuses, and as the ultimate affront, they turn to you to help them with that which managed with n o outside assistance — or at the most, resources available to everyone (books, etc). At least that was my take on it.

In dealing with the technical support role in my job as a programmer (previous life), I often felt sorry for the computer who was sidled with the owner who called me with a problem.

PEBCAK was often the diagnosis — Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard.

One day, a few years ago, I found a bug in my code. For hours, I hunted it relentlessly without food or drink, through the scorching heat of the desert sands and over the frozen wasteland that was the Arctic tundra…

Ok, so I was in my chair in a comfortable, climate controlled office building, but you get the idea, I was persistent. The bug didn’t stand a chance.

I finally found it hiding in an innocuous bit of code and crushed it, dreadfully annoyed that it could hide from me in plain sight! I informed my supervisor of my victory and told him how difficult the hunt had been. Instead of being welcomed home as the triumphant warrior princess that I was, he asked mildly, with no lack of curiosity, why I hadn’t asked someone else for help.

Me? Ask for help?

I wanted to do it myself of course! Prove that I was “good” and capable. What I said was that I didn’t want to bother anyone. I was told it would have gotten done much faster and I’d have accomplished much more if I had asked for assistance. That day put the first crack in the hallowed veneer of my independence, but it’s taken years to bring down the wall.

One thought that is helping me think differently about independence is simply “God as the doer.” In taking responsibility for my faults and giving God the credit for my accomplishments, I no longer have such personal pride attached to the event. The outcome is more important than whether or not I receive direct credit for the work. When thought of ini that light, there is no need to be competitive.

Another helpful thought is that no great work or achievement is done by one man alone. It is a far greater marvel and accomplishment to successfully bring together and manage a team that does together far more than one could manage on their own. That leads to the last thought that I will mention as key to thinking differently about in/dependence is interdependence.

We are inextricably tied to our environment. We cannot walk without stepping foot on the floor/ground which we likely did not create ourselves. We eat food grown by others, use devices we do not know how to build and wear clothes made by someone we’ve never seen. Even when we get behind the wheel of a car to drive, we are working under the implicit assumption that no other driver or passerby has a death wish that day. And let’s not talk about the car itself.

No, even thought it’s taken me a long time to admit it, dependence is the greater skill. To be able to work with, manage, and otherwise successfully interact with groups of people is vital to lasting success — and one thing I will be thinking about differently from now on.

Is there anything you want to think differently about? Anything you want to turn around into a positive? The suggestions for writing such a post are here and I encourage everyone to give it a try.

Let me know how it works!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 27th, 2007 at 6:25 pm and is filed under Life, Motivation, Success, Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.